Don't Want to Drink Alone? Clink a Glass With Fluffy.

Hey.  It had to happen.  Cat lovers of the world rejoice!  A Denver company, Apollo Peak, has come out with cat-friendly wine.  It is nonalcoholic so it is safe for cats to drink.  It is made with organic catnip and water and is colored with beet juice.  There are two varietals:  Pino Meow and MosCATo.  So, sit down and have a nice conversation over a glass of wine with your cat.  Now, if someone comes up with a cat martini or cosmopolitan, we are talking about some good times!  They already like the cheese.

Looks Good!

First Female Presidential Candidate

Congratulations to Hillary Clinton on her being the first female Presidential candidate from a major political party.  However, she is not the first woman to run for President.  That honor goes to Victoria Woodhull who ran in 1872.  And what a woman she was.  She was waaaaay ahead of her times.  I found her story fascinating.  Check out how much ahead of her time she was.

Victoria Woodhall

Testing a Relationship

Here is a strange story that I ran across which I found to be sad but funny.  What do you think?


 In many relationships, especially relatively new ones, the people in them may begin to wonder about whether their partner is loyal and faithful.  Consequently, it is common for them to test the relationship.  People come up with quite ingenious ways of doing so, some of which are quite ingenious.  One woman came up with what seemed to her to be a surefire method.  She wrote a phony breakup letter to her partner and left it in an obvious spot in the bedroom.  She then crawled under the bed to await his arrival to see his reaction.  It worked.

When he got back, he read the letter and then got on his phone.  The women under the bed heard him say into the phone, “Hello darling, I’m coming over.  The dummy finally got the drift that I’ve been cheating.  She’s finally left.  What a mistake, that relationship.  I’m so happy to be free of her.  I wish I’d met you earlier.  See you soon!”  She could not believe what she heard.

When he left, she crawled from under the bed with tears in her eyes only to find that he had left her a note.  “You buffoon.  Next time you want to trick me, make sure your feet aren’t hanging out from under the bed.  Just gone to the store.  See you soon Love.”  

Every Child Should Have One

Mr. Rayford Berrymon of Los Angeles, CA has filed for a patent for a doll that should make it onto every kid's wish list.  Here is his rationale as listed with the U.S. Patent Office:

"Today, there is a need in the art for a doll and stuffed animal that can mimic the sound of passing gas, can emit a vapor and associated odor and can make facial expressions which will compliment the function of passing gas. The present invention, Poodypoo will pass gas that is visible, audible, and can be smelt. Furthermore, the dolls will laugh and blush and make other facial expressions that may be associated with passing gas."

A NEED?  What  could possobily be the need?  "Great conversation starter at dull parties."  "Oops! It wasn't me, it was the doll."  In my house it is, "That was the cat."

Here is more of a description:

"A laughing, farting stuffed doll having a face and a body with a mechanical component, a sound component, an odor component, a vapor component, and a color changing component embedded inside the stuffed doll... the doll will produce sounds of laughter and passing gas. The stuffed doll can also recite several pre-recorded phrases. (I wonder if "Excuse me" is one of them)  Moreover, it will produce an odor similar to passing gas, it will emit a vapor and it will change facial color similar to blushing. All of the aforementioned can be achieved remotely with the assistance of a remote control."

A REMOTE CONTROL?  Fart on demand?  

Mr. Berrymon applied for the patent on April 28, 2011.  He has not been granted one as of today.  He needs a better patent attorney.

Laughter is The Best Medicine?

I remember saying to someone who was really making me laugh, "Stop it! You're killing me." Little did I know that one can literally die of laughing.  While trying out a new search engine, Omnity, I typed in "humor."  Among the typical citings, there were a number of linked sites about people dying of laughter.  Here is the story of one.  His name is Chrysippus.  He was a Greek Stoic philosopher born circa 279 B.C.E.

Now according to a number of reliable sources (that is journalistic for "blame it on the other person.")  He was the head of the Stoic School of Hellenistic philosophy in Athens. Here is the irony.  According to the Merriman-Webster Dictionary a Stoic is "a member of a school of philosophy...holding that the wise man should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief" Oops!  Apparently Chrysippus did not follow his own philosophy.

It seems that one day Chrysippus' donkey began eating his figs. According to the philosophy student who documented Chrysippus' death, Chrysippus then commanded his slave to, “give the donkey neat wine to drink with which to wash them down.”  Apparently our Stoic philosopher found the sight to be quite funny .  The student noted that “Having laughed too much, he died.”

According to modern medical experts, Chrysippus died from cardiac arrest brought about by asphyxiation.  The asphyxiation was caused by his intense laughter.  Not very Stoic!

He's an Equal Opportunity Kinda Guy

There was an article in today's Toledo Blade about an assault.  It seems that one Mr. Charles “Cowboy” Butler, Jr., who is white, was charged with felonious assault and ethnic intimidation against Mr. Adrian Williams, who is black. Although Mr. Butler says that he gets into a lot of fights, he says that he is definitely not a racist.  Why would anyone think so?

Well, perhaps it is the Confederate flag sticker on the back window of his pickup.  Or, maybe, it is his tattoos of Adolf Hitler, the swastika, the Confederate flag, the German iron cross, and a German eagle. “I have five different tattoos that represent my beliefs,” Butler said. But, I guess those tattoos do not represent racist beliefs.

However, we probably should take Mr. Butler at his word.  According to him, “I have no idea why they say this is racially motivated because I’ve gotten in fights with white people, Japanese, Mexican.” 

Yup, an equal opportunity kinda guy.

Crazy Plea Bargin

Austin Lee Russell, AKA "Chumlee" on Pawn Stars, was caught with 12 weapons of various sorts, about 140 grams of marijuana, 1.7 grams of meth, 17 Xanax "Zanie" bars, and an assortment of drug paraphernalia.  He admitted that he "smoked a lot of weed," so he usually bought at least 4 oz. at a time.  He was arrested on weapons and drug charges.

Now it gets interesting.  His attorney managed to bargain down to a plea of one felony gun charge  — unlawful possession of a firearm — and a misdemeanor charge of "attempted drug possession."  WHAT?  How does one "attempt" to possess something?

"Hey, gimmie that baggie of weed."

"No, you can't have it and you are under arrest for attempting to possess it."

Wow!  "No, judge, I wasn't speeding, only attempting to."  "No, Your Honor, I did not go through that red light, I only attempted to."  

I guess it pays to have a good lawyer. Chumlee got three years probation.

Have a Sip of America

Yup...here it is just in time for summer.  Budweiser has renamed its flagship brew.  How patriotic considering the company that produces the beer is Belgian.  But, the beer under the Bud name is the country's best-selling nonlight-beer brand.  I guess it really represents American taste. As Tom Acitelli describes it in the Washington Post "Watery, soda-pop fizzy and ruthlessly inoffensive, if not slightly alkaline, in its flavor, the beer tastes the same wherever it’s made and however far it’s shipped." But there is hope that maybe this reincarnation is about to improve.  After all, Donald Trump wants to, "Make America great again!"  He is talking about the beer, isn't he?

Maybe he can make the beer great again.  Oh, wait.  That should just be "make the beer great."  Forget the "again" because it never was great.

Ironic Photo of the Day

I guess they do not have far to go for help.

It Came Back to Bite Them.

The battle rages on between North Carolina’s Governor, Pat McCrory, and Attorney General Loretta Lynch over the state’s “bathroom law” that effectively discriminates against transgendered individuals by mandating that they use public bathrooms that align with their birth certificate.  Part of the motivation for this legislation is the unfounded fear that a transgendered male would frighten little girls in the women’s restroom.  They apparently did not think of this.

But, here is where it gets interesting.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 as originally proposed would outlaw discrimination because of race, color, religion, or national origin.  During an attempt to generate more “Nay” votes, a bigoted segregationist, Virginia’s Democratic Rep. Howard W. Smith, who staunchly opposed the legislation, decided to add “sex” to the list of protected classes.  He hoped to sway male chauvinist supporters to change their minds.  Instead, the law passed with the added class.

If that southern representative had not tried to kill the bill, the Justice Department may not have been able to sue North Carolina for violating the Civil Rights Act today.  It came back to bite them.

It Is As Simple As That

This post is a bit different from my usual, but I read about a story from Glenrothes, Scotland that I want to share.

A little three year old boy was shopping with his mother for a new toy. Looking around the toy store, he spotted what he wanted—a pink doll pram.  He started pushing it around the store with obvious joy.  That is when another customer went up to him and said, “Oh you don’t want that, it’s just for girls, not boys! It’s all pink and girly. There’s cars and dinosaurs over there, why would you want that girly thing?!”  Whoops!

Before his mother could intervene, the little boy gave the perfect response, “'Cause I like it.” It is as simple as that. The incident led to his mother, Rheann MacLaren, posting an open letter shooting down the other customer.  She said that the idea is not about labels or gender stereotyping.  It is simply about a little boy liking something to play with without thinking about it being a “boy” toy or a “girl” toy.  It is just a fun toy. 

His mother went on stating that her son will put his baby dolly in it and push it around, “because yes, shock horror, my son has a dolly too.” She goes on to explain that her boy has trucks, cars, dinosaurs and monsters. He likes playing in the mud. He also likes to play with a doll and play in his toy kitchen pretending to cook. He pretends to iron clothes. He likes to watch her put her makeup on. Is she worried?  “No, not in the slightest. My child will grow up a well rounded, accepting boy who will NEVER feel pressured to conform to gender stereotypes.”  

As she told the Mirror, "Men push buggies with their children in them as adults so what's so wrong with a child doing it?  Women learn to drive every day so what's wrong with a little girl playing with cars or trucks? We just need to encourage kids in their interests."

We need more parents like Rheann in this world.  Maybe someday we will.

One Stop Shopping?

When I need office supplies or electronics, etc., I shop at Staples.  But, I have been remiss at not really exploring what they have to offer.  I never thought of the following to be found at an office supply store.  I never found these in any office I ever worked in.

Something New From KFC

Neither broasted or fried.  KFC is test marketing its "Finger Lickin' Good" chicken flavored nail polish. Yep. And, it comes in two flavors -- Original and Hot & Spicy!  As if we don't already have enough reasons to bite our nails. According to KFC, "To use, consumers simply apply and dry like regular nail polish, and then lick—again and again and again." Huh?  After I am finished with my KFC extra crispy, I wash my hands to get the smelly stuff off. But, there is no accounting for taste. Ahem!

What else could the fast food industry come up with?  Wendy's French Fry Deodorant?  How about Taco Bell Bean Burrito Shampoo with a hot sauce conditioner. "Makes your hair smell bean fresh all day."  And, of course, Starbucks Espresso Frappuccino Body Lotion. "Stay Cool All Day."

Any other possibilities?

More info on KFC nail polish

What the Heck is "Broasting?"

A while back, Bob Evans started selling broasted chicken.  Well, I thought the neologism was a combination of "broiled" and "roasted."  I was wrong.  Last night we had some broasted chicken from Bob Evans.  It came in a box shaped like a barn, which would have made the chickens very happy if they weren't dead and broasted. When I opened the box it looked like fried chicken.  So why isn't it called "froasted" or "bried?"  Well, according to that wonderful, well respected source, Wikipedia, "broasting" is a method of cooking that is the exclusive right of, guess what, the Broaster Company.

The result is really fried chicken, but the chicken is fried under pressure. I don't know what kind of pressure the chickens are under, but that is how it works. Maybe we can take advantage of this method when we are in negotiations. "Sign this agreement or we will broast you."

Oops!

Oops!

As reported in the New York Daily News:

"An Ohio man accidentally shot himself in a Chick-fil-A while pulling up his pants in the bathroom Tuesday afternoon, police said."

He shot himself in the leg.  It could have been worse. He could have dropped his iPhone in the toilet.

Let's hear it for open carry.

The Degradation of Pizza

The Degradation of Pizza

Okay.  I grew up in Connecticut, a suburb of New York City.  So, naturally, I believe that New York style thin crust pizza is the pinnacle of pizzas. Also, back then pizza consisted of crust, tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, some garlic, and, maybe, pepperoni or sausage.

Nowadays, almost every pizza store offers many toppings, some of which like peppers, mushrooms and even onions make sense. But pineapple on a pizza is an abomination. Well, I just found out about Toppers Pizza.  As the name implies, they specialize in what goes on top of the pizza. It's enough to make 'Lucky' Luciano rollover in his grave.

Here is a list of toppings that are available: jerk chicken, bacon, pickles, macaroni noodles, taco sauce, taco meat, tortilla chips, tater tots, spinach, and artichoke hearts!

These concoctions are not pizza!  We need to come up with another name.  Any suggestions?

May the Spirit Guide You? I Hope Not!

Vice-President Joe Biden, a man I admire, is not the person I would associate with a bigoted, racist segregationist.  But, the association is there and the veep probably did not even realize it. This photo has to be the worst photo-op of all time. 

Avocado Meant What?

The name for the main ingredient of guacamole dip has a long history.  It comes from an unpronounceable Nahuatl Indian (Aztec) word “ahuácatl" which means "testicle." It is thought that name was applied to the fruit because of the shape or because it was thought to have aphrodisiac qualities. So, of course, the name had to evolve into something that we could ask for when making the dip.  "I'll take two testicles for my guacamole, please" would not get us very far. Of course the slang "balls" does not help very much. So I guess it would be more couth to say, "It is cold enough to freeze the avocados off a brass monkey."  But it would make no sense in the movie, Goodfellas, for Tommy to have said,"Just don’t go busting my avocados, Billy, okay?"  Oh, well.

Why Not Beer for Communion?

Most people know that wine is at the very heart of Christian communion (except for Methodists and a few other denominations that use grape juice... definitely a poor substitution).  But why not beer?  An award winning brewery in Jerusalem did some research and, with the help of geneticists from Tel Aviv University, were able to brew some beer using a strain of wheat that was available about the time Jesus was supposedly walking around there. Just one sip and it was clear why wine was the preferred sacred drink of the Bible.  

But beer brewing has come a long way since Biblical times. Just look at how frequently brew pubs are popping up. Perhaps a solution to so many people leaving religion (22.8 % unaffiliated in 2014 and rising according to the Pew Research Center) could be reversed by serving beer at communion. And, not just a sip, the whole chalice! 

Another Delayed Commemoration

The other day I wrote about Queen Elizabeth II's birthday being officially celebrated, not on her birthday, but in June.  Well guess what?  The Spaniards have a tough time commemorating things when they happen, too. 

Miguel de Cervantes, author of Don Quixote died 400 years ago on April 22, 1616.  So there were events all over Spain celebrating him -- on April 23rd! Like the Brits, the Spaniards like to postpone things.  The celebrate on the day of burial rather than on the day of death. So, they commemorate his death not on the day he died, but on the day he was buried -- the first time.  It seems his remains remained lost for almost 400 years.  They were discovered by archeologists and he was reburied on Jun 13, 2015. Maybe they should be celebrating in June to join the Brits. Now I am really confused about celebrations! 

National Bobblehead Hall of Fame 

Yes, there is one in downtown Milwaukee and they will be inducting their first member on Saturday.  No, it is not Scott Walker, at least not this year.  It will be a man dear to the hearts of Cincinnati.  A man who is well known for his antics both on and off the baseball field.  It may be a bit of a gamble, but the first inductee is Pete Rose!

CONGRATULATIONS??

Happy Birthday Queen Elizabeth II... Maybe.

Today Queen Elizabeth II turns 90 and the pubs will stay open for two extra hours to celebrate.  But before you plan on drinking more warm beer in those extra hours, you have to wait until she celebrates her birthday on June 10. Huh?  Well it seems that the Brits only like to celebrate birthdays in the summer -- better weather.  This tradition started with  King George II in 1748 and has been going on ever since.  What the weather has to do with longer hours in the pubs remains a mystery.  So, I guess we have to withhold our best wishes for a few weeks.

But, the Brits have a great idea.  So, because I was born January 4, I have decided to have my official birthday on June 4.  Oh, wait.  That's Kathie's birthday.  So the pubs will have to stay open four hours longer!  Now, that's how to celebrate!

A Little Big Mac??

I read today that McDonald's is going to offer different Big Mac sizes.  But, before I get into that, isn't "Big Mac" a misnomer.  It is McDonald's so it should be a "Big Mc,"  or "Big Mike" at least.  It is "Mickey D's" isn't it?  Any way, McDonald's is test marketing what I assume is a Little Big Mac, a wonderful oxymoron. So I expected a "Little Big Mac" and a "Big Big Mac," but, no. To get around that problem, they renamed the Big Mac "Grand Mac," which, to me, should be bigger than a Big Mac in the scale of things. So big is now grand. The little one is called, "Mac, Jr," which, I guess, is "Son of Big Mac."  The Mac,Jr. is a single pattie.  But, I thought a single Pattie was an unmarried Irishman, Pattie McDonald. Oh, well.

Welcome to my Blog!

I often read or hear about things in the news that I find to be strange, at least to my bemused mind.  I often share them with my wife, Kathie Duckworth, and, at times, she laughs.  At other times she gives me a bewildered stare. Uh, well.

So I thought I would share some of these observations to anyone else who might be interested.