Austin Lee Russell, AKA "Chumlee" on Pawn Stars, was caught with 12 weapons of various sorts, about 140 grams of marijuana, 1.7 grams of meth, 17 Xanax "Zanie" bars, and an assortment of drug paraphernalia. He admitted that he "smoked a lot of weed," so he usually bought at least 4 oz. at a time. He was arrested on weapons and drug charges.
Now it gets interesting. His attorney managed to bargain down to a plea of one felony gun charge — unlawful possession of a firearm — and a misdemeanor charge of "attempted drug possession." WHAT? How does one "attempt" to possess something?
"Hey, gimmie that baggie of weed."
"No, you can't have it and you are under arrest for attempting to possess it."
Wow! "No, judge, I wasn't speeding, only attempting to." "No, Your Honor, I did not go through that red light, I only attempted to."
I guess it pays to have a good lawyer. Chumlee got three years probation.
I have often attempted to possess a modicum of wit, intelligence, and eloquence. We know that turned out.
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