Laughter is The Best Medicine?

I remember saying to someone who was really making me laugh, "Stop it! You're killing me." Little did I know that one can literally die of laughing.  While trying out a new search engine, Omnity, I typed in "humor."  Among the typical citings, there were a number of linked sites about people dying of laughter.  Here is the story of one.  His name is Chrysippus.  He was a Greek Stoic philosopher born circa 279 B.C.E.

Now according to a number of reliable sources (that is journalistic for "blame it on the other person.")  He was the head of the Stoic School of Hellenistic philosophy in Athens. Here is the irony.  According to the Merriman-Webster Dictionary a Stoic is "a member of a school of philosophy...holding that the wise man should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief" Oops!  Apparently Chrysippus did not follow his own philosophy.

It seems that one day Chrysippus' donkey began eating his figs. According to the philosophy student who documented Chrysippus' death, Chrysippus then commanded his slave to, “give the donkey neat wine to drink with which to wash them down.”  Apparently our Stoic philosopher found the sight to be quite funny .  The student noted that “Having laughed too much, he died.”

According to modern medical experts, Chrysippus died from cardiac arrest brought about by asphyxiation.  The asphyxiation was caused by his intense laughter.  Not very Stoic!

He's an Equal Opportunity Kinda Guy

There was an article in today's Toledo Blade about an assault.  It seems that one Mr. Charles “Cowboy” Butler, Jr., who is white, was charged with felonious assault and ethnic intimidation against Mr. Adrian Williams, who is black. Although Mr. Butler says that he gets into a lot of fights, he says that he is definitely not a racist.  Why would anyone think so?

Well, perhaps it is the Confederate flag sticker on the back window of his pickup.  Or, maybe, it is his tattoos of Adolf Hitler, the swastika, the Confederate flag, the German iron cross, and a German eagle. “I have five different tattoos that represent my beliefs,” Butler said. But, I guess those tattoos do not represent racist beliefs.

However, we probably should take Mr. Butler at his word.  According to him, “I have no idea why they say this is racially motivated because I’ve gotten in fights with white people, Japanese, Mexican.” 

Yup, an equal opportunity kinda guy.

Crazy Plea Bargin

Austin Lee Russell, AKA "Chumlee" on Pawn Stars, was caught with 12 weapons of various sorts, about 140 grams of marijuana, 1.7 grams of meth, 17 Xanax "Zanie" bars, and an assortment of drug paraphernalia.  He admitted that he "smoked a lot of weed," so he usually bought at least 4 oz. at a time.  He was arrested on weapons and drug charges.

Now it gets interesting.  His attorney managed to bargain down to a plea of one felony gun charge  — unlawful possession of a firearm — and a misdemeanor charge of "attempted drug possession."  WHAT?  How does one "attempt" to possess something?

"Hey, gimmie that baggie of weed."

"No, you can't have it and you are under arrest for attempting to possess it."

Wow!  "No, judge, I wasn't speeding, only attempting to."  "No, Your Honor, I did not go through that red light, I only attempted to."  

I guess it pays to have a good lawyer. Chumlee got three years probation.

Have a Sip of America

Yup...here it is just in time for summer.  Budweiser has renamed its flagship brew.  How patriotic considering the company that produces the beer is Belgian.  But, the beer under the Bud name is the country's best-selling nonlight-beer brand.  I guess it really represents American taste. As Tom Acitelli describes it in the Washington Post "Watery, soda-pop fizzy and ruthlessly inoffensive, if not slightly alkaline, in its flavor, the beer tastes the same wherever it’s made and however far it’s shipped." But there is hope that maybe this reincarnation is about to improve.  After all, Donald Trump wants to, "Make America great again!"  He is talking about the beer, isn't he?

Maybe he can make the beer great again.  Oh, wait.  That should just be "make the beer great."  Forget the "again" because it never was great.

Ironic Photo of the Day

I guess they do not have far to go for help.

It Came Back to Bite Them.

The battle rages on between North Carolina’s Governor, Pat McCrory, and Attorney General Loretta Lynch over the state’s “bathroom law” that effectively discriminates against transgendered individuals by mandating that they use public bathrooms that align with their birth certificate.  Part of the motivation for this legislation is the unfounded fear that a transgendered male would frighten little girls in the women’s restroom.  They apparently did not think of this.

But, here is where it gets interesting.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 as originally proposed would outlaw discrimination because of race, color, religion, or national origin.  During an attempt to generate more “Nay” votes, a bigoted segregationist, Virginia’s Democratic Rep. Howard W. Smith, who staunchly opposed the legislation, decided to add “sex” to the list of protected classes.  He hoped to sway male chauvinist supporters to change their minds.  Instead, the law passed with the added class.

If that southern representative had not tried to kill the bill, the Justice Department may not have been able to sue North Carolina for violating the Civil Rights Act today.  It came back to bite them.

It Is As Simple As That

This post is a bit different from my usual, but I read about a story from Glenrothes, Scotland that I want to share.

A little three year old boy was shopping with his mother for a new toy. Looking around the toy store, he spotted what he wanted—a pink doll pram.  He started pushing it around the store with obvious joy.  That is when another customer went up to him and said, “Oh you don’t want that, it’s just for girls, not boys! It’s all pink and girly. There’s cars and dinosaurs over there, why would you want that girly thing?!”  Whoops!

Before his mother could intervene, the little boy gave the perfect response, “'Cause I like it.” It is as simple as that. The incident led to his mother, Rheann MacLaren, posting an open letter shooting down the other customer.  She said that the idea is not about labels or gender stereotyping.  It is simply about a little boy liking something to play with without thinking about it being a “boy” toy or a “girl” toy.  It is just a fun toy. 

His mother went on stating that her son will put his baby dolly in it and push it around, “because yes, shock horror, my son has a dolly too.” She goes on to explain that her boy has trucks, cars, dinosaurs and monsters. He likes playing in the mud. He also likes to play with a doll and play in his toy kitchen pretending to cook. He pretends to iron clothes. He likes to watch her put her makeup on. Is she worried?  “No, not in the slightest. My child will grow up a well rounded, accepting boy who will NEVER feel pressured to conform to gender stereotypes.”  

As she told the Mirror, "Men push buggies with their children in them as adults so what's so wrong with a child doing it?  Women learn to drive every day so what's wrong with a little girl playing with cars or trucks? We just need to encourage kids in their interests."

We need more parents like Rheann in this world.  Maybe someday we will.

One Stop Shopping?

When I need office supplies or electronics, etc., I shop at Staples.  But, I have been remiss at not really exploring what they have to offer.  I never thought of the following to be found at an office supply store.  I never found these in any office I ever worked in.

Something New From KFC

Neither broasted or fried.  KFC is test marketing its "Finger Lickin' Good" chicken flavored nail polish. Yep. And, it comes in two flavors -- Original and Hot & Spicy!  As if we don't already have enough reasons to bite our nails. According to KFC, "To use, consumers simply apply and dry like regular nail polish, and then lick—again and again and again." Huh?  After I am finished with my KFC extra crispy, I wash my hands to get the smelly stuff off. But, there is no accounting for taste. Ahem!

What else could the fast food industry come up with?  Wendy's French Fry Deodorant?  How about Taco Bell Bean Burrito Shampoo with a hot sauce conditioner. "Makes your hair smell bean fresh all day."  And, of course, Starbucks Espresso Frappuccino Body Lotion. "Stay Cool All Day."

Any other possibilities?

More info on KFC nail polish

What the Heck is "Broasting?"

A while back, Bob Evans started selling broasted chicken.  Well, I thought the neologism was a combination of "broiled" and "roasted."  I was wrong.  Last night we had some broasted chicken from Bob Evans.  It came in a box shaped like a barn, which would have made the chickens very happy if they weren't dead and broasted. When I opened the box it looked like fried chicken.  So why isn't it called "froasted" or "bried?"  Well, according to that wonderful, well respected source, Wikipedia, "broasting" is a method of cooking that is the exclusive right of, guess what, the Broaster Company.

The result is really fried chicken, but the chicken is fried under pressure. I don't know what kind of pressure the chickens are under, but that is how it works. Maybe we can take advantage of this method when we are in negotiations. "Sign this agreement or we will broast you."

Oops!

Oops!

As reported in the New York Daily News:

"An Ohio man accidentally shot himself in a Chick-fil-A while pulling up his pants in the bathroom Tuesday afternoon, police said."

He shot himself in the leg.  It could have been worse. He could have dropped his iPhone in the toilet.

Let's hear it for open carry.